"The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits." G.K. Chesterton

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Mission: a survey of the two human types and their interactions

Below are some excerpts from mission reports of the Andromedian's research of human behavior through a method known as "Host Control". This particular approach allows the Andromedian experts to reside inside a human mind in a manner akin to the Cartesian homunculus, thus allowing for the study of the correlations of cognitive and physiological phenomena with behavior. If necessary a complete control of the host is possible and legal by "The Alien Species Protection Act"..

"Type I individual" Mission Report.
"At times, when confronted with a particular individual of type II, the most accurate description of the sensation that could be given is akin to the impulse one experiences to pulverize an unexpectedly encountered Giant Roach back on the home planet of Zix. One desires to pulverize it, the individual that is. From the up-to-date linguistic analysis, this sensation is referred to as "annoyance".

At other times, confronted again by some type II individual a peculiar somatic phenomenon occurs: without any conscious intention, (as far as the sensors of the higher cognitive functions are concerned) the facial muscles tense into some type of cramp, manifesting with the teeth being exposed and the cheeks lifting up (again, semantic analysis of local foraging habits has found this to mean "a smile"), causing the sensors register a rise in upper body temperature, accompanied by enormous amounts of rather complex proteins being secreted by the skin tissue; a whole cloud of them as a matter of fact. It is suspected that this is a neurotoxin designed to partially paralyze the other individual who is then forced to respond with a similar facial grimace, although with varying intensity. The individuals most affected by the toxin tend to approach closer, which supports the theory of the chemical cloud being a kind of lure.

Theory explains this complex phenomenon as a predatory strategy intended to lure other individuals to a vicinity sufficient for a lethal strike, although that has not yet been observed. However it is very likely since a variety of marine creatures and plants on that planet hunt in exactly that manner, and teeth exposure accompanying the behavior supports predatory intentions.

This peculiar phenomena rarely occurs when confronted by another type I individual, with the exception of the facial contortion, which although sometimes does appear, but when it does it displays the hallmarks of voluntary and controlled behavior."

"Type II individual" Mission Report
This is a description of an incident where the circumstances caused one of the research experts to lose control of the host, and as a result abort the mission. The incident occurred in a rather loud and dim environment, where plenty of other individuals of both types were present. Most of them moved with a more or less synchronous manner to the ambient sounds of the local environment. This is his report:
"Upon approaching one of the other type individuals the first signs of trouble appeared; I became aware of blood pressure drop in the central navigation/cognition system which made controlling the host substantially more difficult. At the same time the sensors indicated a blood pressure rise and concentration in some lower part of the body. This completely unexpected and novel phenomenon forced me to put the Mission Alert System on standby.
The other individual, a type I, displayed a facial grimace consisting in the teeth being exposed, similar to the one encountered in previous missions and described in detail by Dr Xerox in his seminal paper "Facial contortion correlations with spasmodic and unintelligible vocal raps".

The body of the host acquired at this stage a peculiarly intense tendency of attempting to draw closer to the type I, and I had to try my best in order to restrain the host from coming to physical contact with the type I, which it attempted in a variety of subtle and cunning ways. What made it difficult to control was the fact that I was dealing with a very low level program, running somewhere in the background which could not be traced by my sensors in any part of the cerebral cortex.

Then the equally unexpected, and vastly more dangerous series of events developed. The steadily maintained facial grimace of the type I, and a piercing gaze fixed on my host, caused the trunk of the host to move decisively forward nearing its muzzle dangerously close to the type I. Surprised by this sudden attack, all the other individual seemed to be capable of doing in a futile and desperate feat of defense was to close its eyes and purse its lips (possibly a defense mechanism, although its efficiency is not yet entirely known). A fraction of a second before what appeared to be a certain collision of heads I was forced to inject a prodigious dose of emergency sedative into the host's bloodstream, which to my relief worked surprisingly fast due to the dangerously low blood pressure in the upper part of the body at this stage.

My only defense for resorting to such drastic measures, which may have compromised the outcome of the mission, must be the fact that I was not briefed on the standard procedures implemented in cases when the host engages in hostile behavior, which was clearly what was happening ."


Zegarnek said...

Nice but why the use of a foreign language? Are you trying to tell us that you have (using English and Latin together) "cunning lingus"?

Curiously - the ID word (below), that I needed to type (verification)was 'medstab'...

Mariusz Popieluch said...

Thanks. You are one of the few to give me some feedback on this little piece. Any instantiations of cunninglingus are in some sense instances of my homage to Stanislaw Lem.

Zegarnek said...

OK, ok.

I am withdrawing the simile 'cunning lingus' and replacing it with a simile 'mrówka krzesławka dręczypupa' as a complaint about your articulations.

Lem is my idol and his poem with the letter 'C' (ect.) is the only one I remember by heart of all the poems we ought to remember... Yes the one about Cyprian cyberotoman... Lem is a genius visionary - how pertinent cyberotoman is today?

Mariusz Popieluch said...

I love the Cyberiad! I even have an english version and continuously try to convert all my friends...with little avail unfortunetaly.

His conceptual games wchich merely suggest "infinite technnology" at the same time relieve him of the need to describe meticulously (so its believable), hi-tech instruments machinery etc.

My favourite is "Majmasz Samosyn" in the Cyberiad.