Phenomenology of Non-existence

Whenever asked to explain the key idea underlying his latest masterpiece 'Phenomenology of Non-existence', Joseph would often make use of an enigmatic Gedankenübung (thought-exercise). He'd invite the typical inquisitive offtologist, or the occasional ontologist, as the case may be, to consider how seriously they take themselves. That it was always too much, Joseph explained, was the first step to understanding the main themes covered in his work.

The Drake Equation: actual value.

Consciousness is not an illusion.

I'm not saying that.

As I was having some sour grapes (that's not to say that all grapes are sour, or that I don't eat other fruit, or that I only eat fruit), sitting on my couch and watching a world-class tennis match on TV (which is not to say that I only sit on my couch---it's perfectly good for laying down on as well; nor is it to say that I only eat fruit whilst sitting---there's nothing wrong with eating fruit whilst standing up, for example; nor am I saying that the only sport I watch is tennis, or that I never watch sports directly and live at their designated venues) the power went out. It probably wasn't a good match anyway.

I've identified an interesting semi-group in Australian slang ;)

(G, * )

G  = {yeah, nah}

Closure
yeah nah = nah
nah yeah = yeah
nah nah = nah
yeah yeah = yeah

Associativity
(yeah nah) yeah = yeah
yeah (nah yeah) = yeah

(yeah yeah) nah = nah
yeah (yeah nah) = nah

(nah yeah) nah = nah
nah (yeah nah) = nah

(nah nah) yeah = yeah
nah (nah yeah) = yeah

The above structure can be extended to a monoid, if we add the empty word as the identity element.

ALOSZA I DRZWI

Mój szczur po prostu nie radzi sobie z pojęciem drzwi. Jak są zamknięte to je obwąchuje z ewidentną ciekawością. Gdy drzwi są otwarte to jego zdziwienie wcale nie ustaje---obwąchuje próg i framugę z zaciekawieniem; rozgląda się z widocznym osłupieniem: jak to może być, że perspektywa wcześniej nie widoczna, nagle się ujawnia? Nagła zmiana w topologii podłogi musi robić wrażenie. Ale, mimo trudności z ogarnięciem swoim szczurzym umysłem pojęcia drzwi, trzeba temu ciekawskiemu gryzoniowi przyznać godną pochwały wytrwałość.

Auto Capgras delusion.

Capgras delusion is a disorder whereby a person holds a delusion that a friend, spouse, parent, or other close family member (or pet) has been replaced by an identical-looking impostor. 

I was wondering this morning what it would be like, if possible at all (I think it may be) to suffer from the peculiar case of Capgras delusion, whereby one believes themselves to be an impostor.

A paraconsistent emoji.

Whose smile is both dead and alive at the same time.

Into the blizzard.

You find yourself stranded during a heavy blizzard, in a town far away from home. It's dark, since the streetlights do little to overcome the thick torrent of heavy snow. Your phone is dead. The streets are deserted with no taxi or bus in sight. As you stagger along the snow covered footpath, with you eyes closed tightly to avoid the stinging bombardment of crystals against your face, your suddenly realize that you're right on the street next to where someone whom you know lives. Unfortunately this someone is no other than your lifelong, bitter enemy, and you know they feel the same way. You open one eye and see that the lights in the house are on, glowing with a warm and welcoming glow. You make a life changing decision and with great effort literally crawl up the icy steps toward the door. Then just as you lift your hand to knock, and brace yourself to bear all the humiliation and loss of dignity that will surely accompany the act of turning for help from the last person in the world that you would ever consider talking to, you suddenly recall another thing about them. They hate cats! You turn away from the door and decide to push on.

There's no "hard way" of solving a problem --- an anecdote about John von Neumann as told by Eugine Wigner.

The following problem can be solved either the easy way or the hard way.

Two cyclists 40 miles apart are riding toward each other on a straight track; each one is going at a speed of 20 miles per hour. A swallow starting above one of one of them flies back and forth between them at a rate of 50 miles per hour. It does this until the cyclists meet. What is the total distance the swallow has flown?

The swallow actually flies back and forth an infinite number of times before the cyclists meet, and one could solve the problem the hard way with pencil and paper by summing an infinite series of distances. The easy way is as follows: Since the cyclists are 40 miles apart and each cyclist is going 20 miles an hour, it takes one hour for the cyclists to meet. Therefore the swallow was flying for one hour. Flying at a rate of 50 miles per hour, it must have flown 50 miles. That's all there is to it.

When this problem was posed to John von Neumann by Max Born, Neumann immediately replied, "50 miles!"
"It is very strange," said Born, "but nearly everyone tries to sum the infinite series."
"What do you mean, strange?" asked Von Neumann. "That's how I did it!"

Source: John von Neumann Documentary starting at approximately 18 minutes into the film.
Based on the version of the anecdote from "Math Jokes".

Best of imperfect worlds.

Lev somewhat dissatisfied with his previous cosmic project, decided to embark on a more careful enterprise of world creation, and turn down the perfection parameter from maximum. This time he decided to play with the parameters of fundamental values, and observe how they'd influence the hedonistic dynamics. The idea was to run a simulation where hugs are set as having principal value, and consequently become the sought after currency -- in other words, hugs in that world were to be the sole wealth determinant. But in what sense 'hugs'? -- one may ask. Receiving them of course! And naturally they'd have to be of genuine sincerity; neither bought nor forced in any way. That is, hugs have value only if they're sincere and welcomed. But then how does one accumulate such wealth, given that hugs are such ephemeral phenomena? Surely, one can't be in possession of a great number of hugs. The only way one can accumulate wealth of this kind, that is, become a prosperous hugee, is to guarantee and maintain the existence of those willing to give those hugs, i.e. huggers (aka ready-to-hug beings). In other words, one can attain a high flux of hugs, and wealth would be interpreted as maintaining a high hug-flux. This can be done in many ways of course, and Lev calibrated the simulation with no limit on the degrees of freedom concerning valid hug-acquisition. Naturally those who attain the ability to reach and maintain a high hug-flux steady state, aka hugagogues  are sought after as raw models for guidance, whose wisdom would guarantee the attainment of wealth in that world. Lev has hypothesized that such a world would be among those that are the closest to being perfect without giving rise to any absurd consequences, which inevitably accompany perfection.

It Goes Without Saying.

After a decade of a comfortable tenure as reader in baroque logics, Lev felt the onset of an uninspiring impasse coming on. He could sense the cold, judgemental gaze of his best work in the field of non-normal world conjuration, staring at him from the old, dust covered journal volumes, stacked neatly on the shelf near his desk.

Some say that it must have been the mixture of mundane routine and the onset of his flourishing that led him to leave the academy. Before his seven year disappearance many of his close associates reported that Lev’s long cherished, yet latent interest in eastern philosophy – Zen Buddhism in particular – took the form of an obsession. He would constantly talk of the higher jhanas, emptiness and other eastern concepts. Subsequently his interest in quietist philosophy grew. It is believed that he wrote this haiku just weeks before his now legendary departure.

a field of wheat

waving in the breeze

whispers

It is commonly agreed that he spent most of the time in India, Tibet, China and Japan. But it was the series of events which unraveled over the next seven years following his return, that made Lev one of the pivotal figures of 21^st century philosophy – in particular the establishment of the field that has become to be known as radical quietism. Although a term which Lev never himself used, the foundation of radical quietism has been unanimously attributed to him by philosophy historians.

His seminal publication in the Hush! Quarterly, is nowadays considered as the turning point in Lev’s philosophical career – this 37 blank page tour de force established him once and for all as the founding father of this new approach, or as some say – style, to philosophical inquiry. His associates and peers agreed that this indeed was the most that he didn’t say in decades. This revolutionary publication, or radical quietism manifesto as it is often referred to, received an immediate non-reply of awe and the highest acclaim from the Hush! Quarterly editors and the quietist community at large.

More papers followed. In the subsequent seven highly productive years, Lev published over thirty papers, each no less brilliant than the preceding ones; each with an equal clarity to the initial gem; each beaming with equal passion and fervor of Lev's intrepid genius. Also given that each subsequent article referenced precisely the previous ones, including page numbers, a complete body of work emerged over that decade which rightfully so is unanimously considered as the foundation and the purest source of not only radical quietism, but quietism in general.

The Poet, the Chemist, and the Physicist.

The trio met one day over some wine and discussed matters of rhyme, thyme and time. Soon the conversation turned to the notions of nothingness and emptiness - what is empty? The poet finished his glass, and pointed to it --- as far as I am concerned this glass is empty, as it is devoid of wine - the sparkling grape, the drink of gods. Hold on a minute! --- exclaimed the chemist --- surely it's not empty as it contains air - we'd have to pump all the air out of the glass, creating a vacuum in it, and then and only then would it be empty. It wouldn't make any difference to me --- replied the poet, shrugging his shoulders. Please let me interject at this juncture dear fellows --- interjected the physicist --- and let me put an end to your obvious confusion. Vacuum, as you describe it doesn't cut it at all, since we know that even empty space is a breeding ground for virtual particles whose immediate annihilation results in what we observe and call vacuum energy. The poet looked at the physicist with a frown of suspicion --- I know nothing when I see it good man, and I won't let anyone tell me otherwise - let the bartender settle this matter - haloo, good fellow! Another round please!

Zeno's Apology

We know that the ancient Greeks loved their wine. So must have Zeno, the Greek philosopher who among other things is known for devising numerous paradoxes intended to endorse the views of Parmenides.

One of those paradoxes, called "The Dichotomy" claimed that you could never traverse a finite stretch of space, for in order to get to the destination one would have to first get to the half-way point, but before that one would have to reach the quarter-way point, and so on. So since traversing a finite stretch of space entailed performing an infinite number of tasks, reaching the destination, Zeno argued was impossible. 

We could rephrase this paradox in a way to claim that finishing a goblet of wine is impossible. For before one drinks the whole lot, one need's to drink half first etc. 

Now, either Zeno was also a very unusual Greek insofar as he abstained from wine - which is very doubtful, and would surely be insulting to even assume - or when it came to wine drinking he could perform the impossible! 

I'd take that as a valid defense, if Zeno chose to use it.

What is your calling?

We make shit up. That's all we ever do, at best. At worst we just repeat the shit made up by others. We need the shit others made up, mind you, in order to make up our own. This is not to be confused with stirring shit up - that's an altogether distinct, and somewhat conditional activity - for in order to do any shit stirring, there already needs to be some shit around - shit that has already been made up, naturally. There are ways out of ever having to do anything with making shit up, or shit stirring. Those who have adopted the two most common evasive strategies, either don't do shit, or don't give a shit.

Breeding Unicorns

It is illegal to breed unicorns - illogical even, or ill founded according to some. It's safe to conclude that breeding unicorns is an ill activity.

Epidiosyncragyrology

Epidiosyncragyrology - the science dealing with stirring patterns resulting from human activity intended to dissolve sugar in tea or coffee, by stirring with a teaspoon. Most epidiosyncragyrologists consider the recent emergence of this interdisciplinary field as nothing short of a revolution in the study of the human mind.

Gecko commotion!

Two gecko's are either fighting, playing or mating outside my window - hmm, can't tell. There's plenty of commotion and a cacophony of gecko-squeaks. Oh wait! - I can see one has got hold of the other's tail with it's jaws. Whoa! - the gecko binary system has just swung haphazardly, pivoted on the hind legs of the biter, coming close to dropping off the window altogether. Nope - I still don't know what to make of it.

Notions

...notions, as it happens to be the case, obtain, period. However, there are those that half obtain, obtain only in part, or don't obtain at all. Some even believe, that those that do both, that is to say obtain and don't obtain - all at once - are not that uncommon at all! And who could forget those that obtain only when others don't, and vice versa. Not to mention those that passively obtain - by default, as it were - while those who wish nothing else but to obtain, attempt to comfort themselves with the belief that, surely were they to obtain at all, they would be stuck with it - "it", being that which one presumably discovers once one obtains. I wish to say only this: it appears to me, that the most curious of all, are those which I shall call notions. For...


à la Carroll, Lem, Russell, Dr. Seuss.

Sensless chatter analysis

Average teenager-mid twenties person wpm (words per minute - spoken) = 150.

Average teenager-mid twenties person wpm (words per minute - spoken) with the phrases (and the variations of) "so/and I/he/she/it/we/they am/is/are/was/were like..." = 45.