I generally avoid such events, but find myself occasionally obliging a friend and accompanying them with the only consolation being the hope that the experience may prove my convictions inaccurate. Alas those hopes prove to be futile at every such chance attendance.
There's the experiential aspect, which even with the aid of empathy, understanding and careful reflection fails to provide more than painful frustration; during the fake and polite interactions equally ungenuine inquiries arise: "So what do you do?” The frustration emerges primarily from the realization of my cowardice which prevents me from actively defying customary conformity - knowing with certainty the pure formal nature of the inquiry, devoid of no more genuine interest then required to satisfy a curiosity which attempts to avoid boredom and dullness by engaging in mild and superficial intellectual entertainment (the conversation), I find myself pretending that this empty shell of an inquiry is of substance and respond accordingly - with symmetrical pretension. The only way I can withstand the half hour or so of my physical presence at such events is by erecting a hermetic and pseudo philosophical wall around me which relates insincerely to the exhibited pieces, or physically avoiding any interactions by inspecting the exhibited works repeatedly with ostentatious interest that would excuse my lack of socializing. Whilst exercising those evasive tactics I'm always astonished by my paranoia that time has slowed almost to a stop. This behavioral device tends to temporarily fend off those excruciatingly vacuous inquiries into the content of my person.
It would be tempting to at least engage in the consolatory activity of amusing myself by observing the career hungry crowd, seeking mutual attention of only those who in its mind can contribute to the elevation of either the ego or what's more important the factual career status. Sadly I no longer find it amusing. I'm saddened by this and inescapably forced into reflections on the human condition in general - how we will readily crawl, hop or sing in a bad chorus - ready to take those desperate measures if only their performance, no matter how pathetic and degrading, would deliver but a glimmer of a promise of bringing closer the illusory goal that we have chosen to endow with value.
7 comments:
I feel obligated as a friend to ask you Mariusz if you attend these functions knowingly as a social obligations then surely your expectations are just a bit too exaggerated. Would you not agree?
There is a certain dance done by people who are feeling insecure and craving approval... I think it is all for lack of a better idea of how to behave.
Most likely there are people there that genuinely want to know what you do and crave to get to know you better... but they fear rejection so they interact with an air of disinterest.
Yes I believe that such people also do attend such functions. The fact of the matter remains however that the façade of pretention they erect for fear of rejection is a phenomenon most likely induced by the circumstances. Hence I avoid such circumstances. In sum I prefer and choose environments where individuals genuinely interested in others' activities and pursuits won't fear rejection and so will inquire in a manner that directly reflects their intension.
So, you are saying - perhaps well-meaning people exist in this setting but the setting itself disrupts the sophistication of their behaviour patterns?
Where is it that individuals exist unemcumbered by the fear of rejection?
(Personally I hate exhibition openings - can't get out fast enough... I seem to observe cliques and networkers and myself as being on the outside. I guess I get your point... I just think behind the offensive behaviour is vulnerability that warrants some empathy).
Ha! - I see we seem to understand each other and agree on almost everything but the resultant attitude.
Now for the aspect of empathy - I do exercise it, but as I've written it gets overwhelmed by a kind of existential sadness.
I meant every word here:
"There's the experiential aspect, which even with the aid of empathy, understanding and careful reflection fails to provide more than painful frustration.
[...]
I'm saddened by this and inescapably forced into reflections on the human condition in general[...]"
This is why the whole piece does not focus on the critique of our behavioral shortcomings as humans per se, but rather it emphesizes how certain circumstences act as catalysts in exposing such shortcomings in the form of grotesque theatrical performances.
it emphesizes how certain circumstences act as catalysts in exposing such shortcomings in the form of grotesque theatrical performances.
Yes the observation is both interesting and valid but something about it bothers me... Perhaps it is just the inevitability than even within a group of people agreeable to a certain code of behaviour there will always be indiscretions due to conflicting goals. Perhaps also knowing that whilst behaving like a lunatic a person may still be doing the best they can for their particular situation (upbringing, education, current state of mind, experiences etc).
All around us there does indeed exist "grotesque theatrical performances" and not to mention the other extreme of pure unbridalled, untamed emotion. But as the rest of the world continues, unperturbed perhaps instead of labeling other's behaviours as "shortcomings" we should be turning our examination on ourselves?
Thank you for going deeper. I agree, and was even going to mention it, that certain conformity is in some practical (pragmatic) sense inevitable. Hume said that philosophers should leave behind their existential angst within the confines of their study (office), and for the sake of sanity live unperturbed by the questions left there - although I agree with him, this is easier said than done. If you read carefully, you'll see that I intentionally stressed "our" behavioral shortcomings - by no means do I feel, or claim to be above the human condition. I make an assumption that a literary piece is not taken by a reader in isolation, as some absolute manifesto. The piece is a fragment of a broader context. I guess it could be categorized as a type of "venting" literary piece. Hence its blog label "critique" ;)
Rest assured that the emotion which motivated this little venting exercise is not an expression of my overall attitude. It is but a fragment. There would be reason for concern if it was otherwise.
I'm grateful for your thoughtful feedback, and encourage you to read some other "seizures" of mine, which may bring you closer to a complete picture of my views:)
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